


With Salamander By Starlight

by Salasabim



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: F/M, Face Slapping, Face-Sitting, Femdom, Interspecies, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Sex, Reader-Insert, Tags Are Hard, Urethral Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:06:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8937349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salasabim/pseuds/Salasabim
Summary: It's been a long day of pokemon battles, adventuring, and Alolan heat. You stop at a nearby Motel and rent a room for the night in preparation for what will probably be a hotter evening than any sun-baked beach can offer.
Kinks: Poke-fuckery, Femdom, Face-sitting, Urethral Penetration(minor), Tail Wrapping





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hurrah for bandwagons!!!
> 
> Everybody on the internet seems to be contributing to Salazzle34 in some way and I guess this is my submission. As "one of them gosh dern furries" I genuinely love Salazzle's design. I just also hope it doesn't go the way of Gardevoir what with the over-saturation and everything. Anyway, enjoy the porn.

I locked the motel door behind me. It was a quiet night, or as quiet a night you could have with nocturnal pokémon about. The Alolan heat stayed well into the evening and only just now was it starting to cool down. Luckily, my 5,000-a-night Poké-yen motel room had air conditioning. It’s practically required for every indoor establishment here. 

The rest of the motel was nice. Door in the center of the front wall with a coffee table to your left and a dressing table to the right. Bed right ahead, leaning against the back wall and a walled-off bathroom on the right. A long window centered to the left of the bed and extending from the middle of the bedstand almost to the big-screen television on the left wall.

I shut the curtains and checked the lock on the door. I listened for people in the other rooms. I heard nothing but the low hum of the blessed air cooling apparatus. For all intents and purposes, including the probably-taboo and possibly-illegal one I had in mind, I was alone.

I took a pokéball off my belt and lobbed it into the middle of the room. My Salazzle popped out of her ball and stood in the middle of the room facing me in her usual pose: leaning on one leg, extending the other, hands hovering near her hips, and displaying all kinds of lizard-y goodness. She saw me and took an immediate look at our surroundings. Salazzle knew battle, but lately she wasn’t one of the ones manning the field. Or womanning. Or lizarding. Whatever.

Seeing that she wasn’t going to be fighting in armed poké-combat, Salazzle warmed up slightly and greeted me with a hearty fiery hiss. She held her hands out, like a beggar would for coin.

“Well I didn’t call you out for that, but alright.”

I reluctantly handed her a Poké Bean from my Bag and rubbed the top of her head as she swallowed the baseball-sized bean in three bites. Salazzle let out a happier hiss, sort of like a small roar. She was just four feet tall, but I was damn sure there was Dragon-type blood in there somewhere. Stranger things are known to happen.

“Do you want to know why I called you out?”

She looked up at me with a small, curious tribble-like sound.

“Lately I’ve been… You’ve been catching my eye and…”

I was struggling to get the words out, but Salazzle seemed to understand perfectly. I wanted to say to her that I loved her and that I found her undeniably sexy. And that I wanted to bang her. Especially that last bit.

Salazzle just looked at me with a squint and a serpentine smile. She knew. God, she knew.

“You… you know?”

Salazzle walked me over to the bed like an impatient 12-year-old and effectively told me to sit down with a  _ pat-pat _ of one foreclaw on the mattress. I acquiesced, and as a result was at about eye-level with her as she was standing up. I was confused for a second, until I saw that her other hand-like claw was digging around in her definitely-lizardian cloaca. I was slightly disturbed until my mind reconciled with the fact that this was her totally fingering herself, presumably in preparation for coitus with me. After that, I suddenly had shorts three sizes too small. But I never got to take them off because very suddenly my Salazzle shoved her moist fingers under my nose. I recoiled and reflexively inhaled, and a voice spoke in my mind.

**_You wish to mate… with me? Your pokémon?_ **

It took a minute until I realized that HOLY SHIT THAT WAS HER. Pheromone-messaging. Shit.

“Uhh… yes. Kinda… really badly.”

_ Shlick Schlick Schlick Sniff _

**_You truly are a perverted trainer. Just my type._ **

Then I had trouble staying upright on the bed and just sorta fell over. Self-locomotion from the neck down sorta stopped after that, but everything else was just fine.

“Hey, what just happened?”

Salazzle jumped up onto the bed and looked down at me on my side. She rolled me onto my back and looked down at her paralyzed trainer. She looked really imposing from below and I was reminded of the Salandit Harems I had heard about. One Salazzle and a group of male Salandit. I was playing the part of the Salandit tonight, it seems.

That conclusion was confirmed when she walked over to where my head was and proceeded to shove her cloaca onto my nose and mouth. My face was being sat on.

**_I hope you don’t mind if I take the lead tonight, hun. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a good male to dominate but I guess you’ll do._ **

I gave up. At this point, I was at my goal for the night, so I just gave in to her. I massaged Salazzle’s various lizard bits with my lips and tongue. She was hotter than an active volcano and tasted like stale gasoline and sweet cherries and the essence of sex all at the same time.

**_Tell me, how do I look from this angle?_ **

I looked up past almost four feet of lizard up at her and stared her in the eyes. I wanted to say she looked like a goddess of virility and poisons incarnate but my mouth was… occupied. So I just blew her cooch a raspberry.

**_OOH, I love it when guys get sassy like they can do anything to me. Go right ahead, big boy._ **

Salazzle was right. But she was also cutting off my oxygen supply so I blew her more raspberries in a rhythmic pattern. She got the message and got up so I could breathe blessed cool air. Salazzle was dripping onto my face so I had to blow off spare juices. She took a few steps back and picked up the dead arms at my side, placing them above my head. I vaguely wondered if Salazzle-drippings washed out or needed special treating.

She then took off my clothes like I was a child. Salazzle took a moment as she was taking off my shirt to mash her genitals with my face again and I got another message in smell.

**_Why you humans wear clothes I have no idea. It gets in the way of all the fun stuff._ **

“You might not have it, but ‘us humans’ have this thing called modesty. Also, our skin is a lot softer than scales so we sorta need something between us and the elements.”

Salazzle was down around my waist undoing my belt and pulling off my shorts to reveal the underwear beneath. She looked at it and then shot another sharp glance at me.

“What. It’s not like I invented ‘em.”

She rolled her eyes at me - holy crap did Salazzle pick up a lot of human gestures - and then pulled the underwear off more abruptly than the shorts. She finally got a look at the goods. My partially-erect phallus flopped back down but when Salazzle wrapped a hand around it I was immediately made fully erect again.

_ Schlick Schlick Sniff _

**_You seem just a bit bigger than I expected. Mind you I didn’t expect much, but congratulations._ **

“Glad my penis is up to code. It’s not like I could change that or anything.”

Salazzle continued to congratulate me by wrapping her slender lizard-tongue around my shaft and doing something akin to a hand-job. But, you know, tongue.

“Oh holy shit.”

Her tongue was warm and slimy and wherever what I was assuming was her saliva - in denial of it being some deadly toxin - touched, a tingling burning sensation started slowly and grew. Soon she had licked almost my entire shaft and the burning intensified even more by the second. I was breathing heavily even though I wasn’t moving a muscle, and I was ready to climax right then and there. Salazzle must’ve sensed it too, because Salazzle was just about to wrap her lizard lips around my cock when she suddenly recoiled half a second before I blew.

That climax was… better than I had ever experienced. It was like my first time all over again times ten. The first shot blew the highest, landing on Salazzle’s snout. The next few landed on my bare stomach until the pressure gave out and my cum just oozed out like water from a leaky pipe.

_ Schlick Schlick Sniff _

**_Already? You humans are weak._ **

“Sorry, that’s just how it goes.”

Salazzle just stared at me with lizard eyes as she licked the cum from the tip of her snout with her flexible tongue. She lapped up the puddle on my bare stomach in an almost greedy fashion. Then Salazzle slurped up the remaining cum that had leaked down my shaft. More tingling, much subdued this time. She worked her way up my member until she reached the very tip. Salazzle used one of her claws to squeeze the cum left in there from bottom to top like I was a toothpaste tube being squeezed for every drop left. A minute bead of cum appeared at the tip, and she licked that off with all due haste.

Salazzle looked contemplative for just a second. Then she squinted at me, looking me right in the eyes.

“What are you thinking?”

Salazzle didn’t hiss or shove a wet pheromone-message claw up my nose in reply. What I did hear what seemed like a cross between a blast furnace, a chainsaw, and someone hawking a loogie. She gave me a sly smile and another squint.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

I struggled to break free, but again I was reminded in this instance I was an observer only. I could only watch as she did with me what she will. I was worried Salazzle was going to fry and/or poison me right there. And all I was able to do was watch it happen. The flaming-whirring-phlegmy sound intensified and then suddenly stopped.

Salazzle looked at me and then opened her mouth to reveal her tongue coated in a shimmering purple liquid rather than the clear glisten that was her assumptuous-saliva. More smiling and squinting. Then she closed her mouth and leaned her head down near my shrinking member. Salazzle held it upright with both claws and opened the very tip. You know, the bit where cum exits.

“No no no no NO NO NO NO-...”

She opened her mouth and inserted her tongue right down my shaft the wrong way with the swiftness of a serpent. The glistening purple liquid burned like hellfire all the way down to the base of my shaft, and the pain and shock of it made me involuntarily arch my back as far as it could go. The hellfire-burning spread throughout my shaft from the center, and after a second or two it subsided to a dull tingling. My back unbowed at that slightest of reliefs. Salazzle pulled her tongue out of my dick slowly, and then went digging for a message in her babymaker.

_ Schlick Schlick Schlick Sniiiiff _

**_Since you blew your wad so early, I dosed you with a cocktail of aphrodisiacs, anticoagulants… Suffice it to say your soldier is firing a few more shots before he goes down again._ **

Salazzle wasn’t lying. I was already rock-hard in her hands again. And about a minute ago I was just coming back down. Tonight was going to be a bumpy ride. Especially because Salazzle then proceeded to finish what she started, stuffing my dick in her mouth like it was a fine dessert.

If her tongue had been warm, her mouth was like a slippery gateway to hell itself. But damn did she know how to make every other blowjob look like small potatoes. Salazzle was utilizing her tongue again, wrapping it gently around the shaft and using it like an extension of her mouth. She would slide down the shaft with her lizard lips and the tongue would follow, gently squeezing and lubricating with that tingling spittle again. Salazzle would pop back up and loosen her grip, bringing her tongue up and covering more of my penis with her sweet tingling. She paid special attention to the base of the head, swirling her tongue and getting at sensitive crevices I barely knew I had.

Salazzle was using just her lips and tongue, but I was near ready to blow again. She looked me in the eyes with her cock in her mouth, head in her hands. She looked akin to a high-school sweetheart sitting across from the table at a milkshake bar. Only this time I was the one getting sucked dry instead of a root-beer float.

“Oh god this is intense. I feel like I could blow any second.”

_ Schick Schlick Sniff _

**_That’s the concoction. Part of it is nitro for the sex-drive and another part is an orgasm inhibitor. Works wonders on harems of Salandit… and trainers alike, it seems._ **

I really did feel like I was about to blow all up in her mouth. My whole body was lit up like a casino in all kinds of pleasure, not just the bits in my Salazzle’s mouth. I gave credit for that to the serum, and vaguely wondered if I might get addicted. Or if it was outright addictive. Later thoughts for later times, man.

Salazzle didn’t give in, and she doubled the speed. Tongue action, head massage, lips, all of it got faster and more intense. The room narrowed to just me - paralyzed on the bed - and Salazzle - giving some delicious head. Everything else went black because it didn’t matter. All that mattered was her, riding my Lightning Rod like there was no tomorrow.

I then proceeded to ask a stupid question.

“So, do you spit or swallow?”

Salazzle stopped right there, in the middle of a downstroke. She looked up at me, eyes venomous with contempt. I regretted asking the question only because it had made her stop. Salazzle then slid her lips up my shaft all the way to the base of the head. Then she struck at my genitals with serpentine swiftness again.

Salazzle immediately took my entire throbbing member into her hellishly hot yet tinglingly delicious mouth. She wrapped her tongue around my balls and proceeded to massage them for all they were worth and that much more. I came again in less than ten seconds. The whole-body tension tightened into silver strings of pure sexual release as I spewed twice my usual amount all right into Salazzle’s hungry mouth.

I panted for air afterward, while Salazzle kept my dick in her mouth and squeezed me for every last bit again - this time with her tongue. She then spat me out and tilted her head completely to the vertical. I saw a cartoon-esque bulge slide down her throat as she swallowed. Salazzle then looked back down at me and opened her mouth by way of show. No white cum, just a cavernous dark purple maw with clear spittle and a flickering tongue. 

“Okay… I get it. You’re a show-off.”

She smiled at that. Salazzle was a show-off who knew it and liked the appreciation, then. I was still hard and raring to go, so I took another shot in the dark since the last one went so well.

“All right, bet you’re not brave enough to take my dick in that cloaca.”

_ Schlick Schlick Sniiiffffff _

Instead of a message, I found myself sitting up at the waist without command. I stood there, looking up at Salazzle and supporting myself with my hands behind me. She stared at me with stone-cold eyes and no playful, seductive undertones at all.

Then she slapped me across the face, and I reeled for just a half-second before involuntarily looking back at her. Salazzle dug around for another message in “that cloaca” that I had suggested needed “my dick”. Her message came after she placed her wet claw on my lips as if she were shushing me.

**_Watch your words. As much as I enjoy an adorable power-bottom, I want you to remember who’s really in charge here._ **

Salazzle pushed me back gently with a claw and I sorta just toppled back to where I was before she made me sit up. She then walked over from about where my knees were on the bed to where my face was. Before Salazzle did actually sit on my face, she turned around so she was facing counter to me, and my mind silently hoped this was going to be the best 69 I would ever experience.

I then went from hope to slight panic as Salazzle wrapped her apparently-prehensile tail around my head and forced my literal nose to her proverbial grindstone. My whole face got drenched and I counted myself lucky I had closed my eyes as she continued to grind her cloaca against my face.

**_I hope you don’t mind if I play with your delicious cock a bit more. Actually, I hope you do mind. I love to see boys squirm._ **

Oh, and squirm I did. I held my breath, because surviving was probably number 2 on my priorities list right there. Magic Penis Serum had skyrocketed procreation to a close number 1, but it was only barely ahead.

Right then and there, Salazzle started playing with  **my** head. The one on the end of my penis. She teased and toyed at it, giving it light thumps, coating me in tingling saliva with her expert tongue and letting it dry as the tingling faded, sucking at it the head like a lollipop. I struggled to hold my breath as Salazzle assaulted my genitalia, but eventually I had to gasp for air.

Problem: I still had Salazzle cloaca on my face. So I didn’t suck in air so much as her juices. Last time they had tasted like a hellish combination. Now…

She tasted like sweet soda, a far cry from before. I was apprehensive before but now I dove in as eagerly as I could from the neck up. Salazzle must’ve noticed because she ground in tighter with small, swaying motions on her hips.

**_So you noticed? That cocktail also contained something to… encourage you. Nothing major, just a little change in your tastebuds._ **

I continued to eat her cloaca for all it was worth, sticking my tongue into small crevices and practically making out with it. I sucked in as much sweet juice as I could until it started to taste dull. I had forgotten about everything else. In fact, even my body was starting to fade away, starting at my toes and working its way up. My chest felt like hot fire, but I needed to taste more, I couldn’t pull away…

Salazzle’s prehensile tail let my head sink back down to the pillow and I silently mourned the loss of her juices. Then I gasped several heavy breaths and everything came back into clear view again with the return of blessed oxygen. Salazzle slowly lowered her hips and  _ booped _ my nose with her delicious hole. I took the short opportunity to lick a little more sweet juice from its glorious font.

**_Careful you dive in there too deep you can’t come back up for air. I’ve had that happen more than once._ **

I just sat there continuing to breathe heavily, and realized I’d almost literally drowned in pussy. Well, female genitalia. But still, I could have died. And I would have loved it. God, Salazzle was scary at the same time she was sexy.

Salazzle then stopped tugging and licking at both my cock and balls. Another time she stuck her tongue straight down into my shaft itself, but I barely flinched this time. She ground her cloaca against my face for a good second or two again and seductive sweetness landed on my tastebuds and drove me to eat of the deadly buffet again. I only got a small helping before Salazzle took it away again.

**_Another concoction. Antigen for the orgasm inhibitor, more aphrodisiacs… I wanna see your balls shrivel into raisins by the time I’m done._ **

That sounded sexy, potentially deadly, and absolutely glorious. If I was going to go down in a fit of sybaritic glory, I was prepared to go down fighting. Goddammit, I didn’t want to leave behind a pretty corpse - I wanted to leave behind something they could look at and immediately say “Damn, he lived”. My body was ready. Probably more running on fumes and ready to collapse than to engage in the sex, but hell if those concoctions didn’t work.

“Just fuck me up.”

Salazzle turned around, and we were face to face again. She looked me in the eyes, her head directly above mine. She grabbed my head in her hand-like claws, and I suddenly wanted oh so badly to have control of my limbs so I could do the same to her. Then Salazzle dove in and started french kissing me. That bit was especially weird because the same tingling saliva she had spread all over my genitals before - don’t think I wasn’t trying to avoid that line of thought, either - made my mouth light up too. And it was way more intense on my tastebuds and lasted much longer. Her long tongue spread it all over, so my mouth was wholly engulfed in seconds.

The kiss was deep, long, tight, and also other adjectives that sound vaguely sexual. Most of it was lost in intense fire and warm breath, but I think she had her tongue literally down my throat at one point because tingling spread down my esophagus. We stayed together for as long as we could bear, and then I broke away panting. Salazzle seemed like she could’ve gone another four minutes. Hell, I’d barely lasted twenty seconds.

“Okay… That… was sexy.”

Salazzle looked at me like “duh” and then did a backwards lizard-walk until her genitals were about level with mine. I suddenly felt like a kid in a candy store, like everything she’d done before would seem like small potatoes compared to what that juicy cloaca could do to me.

“So are we actually gonna mash nasty bits now?”

Salazzle looked at me deadpan again. More duh. Then I felt something warm sliding around my legs. She was making well use of her prehensile tail again, wrapping it around my legs. Not like I could move them anyway.

“Oh my god this is so hot.”

Salazzle looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips. Then she actually touched her cloaca to the tip - just the very tip - of my penis and the goddamn THX theme went off in my head. When she slid down my shaft I heard the chorus for  _ Hallelujah _ . And then, tail wrapped around my legs, Salazzle started riding me cowgirl. Cow-pokemon. Cow-lizard. Whatever.

She was tight and wet and pulsating and absolutely beautiful and I came within five thrusts. She kept going at a steady rhythm and didn’t stop, and soon I lost track of how many loads I’d blown in her. And they only got more and more intense. The skin and scales surrounding both our sexual organs was painted nearly completely white. I was starting to lose grip on reality, the pressure and pleasure were so intense.

Then Salazzle stopped after a downstroke. She looked at me and then lay down on my torso. She looked straight at me, and our faces couldn’t have been more than a foot apart. Her eyes were gleaming and menacingly sexy. Then Salazzle used her hips and started thrusting down on me just like that.

I was close to blowing before she had laid down on my chest. Once Salazzle started thrusting I had a limited amount of time. The last few orgasms had seen progressively more of my vision narrow. I bet that this time I was going to black out.

“If I die with you riding my dick like this… tell my wife I love heeEEAAAARRRGHGGHHH”

 

********************************

 

I woke up drenched in sweat and thereby unpleasantly clammy. The sunbeam that had landed right on my eyes didn’t help either. I was buck naked and lying on my back, arms slightly out and at my sides. At the very least, I was mostly under the covers of the bed. On my right side was Salazzle, head on my chest and cuddling up like a lover after a night of crazy sex...

Oh right.

She was just inside my arm, so I reached up to pet her head and found that - despite her locomotor-lock on me last night - my limbs functioned just as they should, if a little stiffly. Salazzle crooned softly as my gentle touch, apparently still asleep. Her tail was wrapped around my right leg, and she squeezed it gently in sudden pulses. Probably dreaming about banging me again. 

I couldn’t immediately see it, but I wondered how Wondershot Johnny was doing after last night. I lifted the covers. Rubbed-raw red, sweaty like the rest of me, but down and out and surprisingly clean besides.

I reached my right arm up to pet at Salazzle’s head again. She cooed again, surprisingly bird-like sounds for something so scaled and somewhat humanoid. Actually, were it not for her head and feet, I would’ve told you she looked like a pre-teen in a skin-suit cosplaying somebody from a TV show. Not that I’d seen much Alolan TV. It seemed like every time you turned on a television, all you got were commercials for Malasadas.

My stomach growled and the sunbeam sneaking in through the curtained window got more uncomfortable. I nudged Salazzle a little more forcefully, and in response she wrapped her tail a little more forcefully around my leg. I tried getting my arm in between her and my torso from the top like a crowbar, and to my surprise she slid right off. I wedged my hand further down, and after about 2 feet I hit something slipperier than the rest of her scales. Salazzle’s eyes slammed open, and I realized that I had probably touched with my hand what I had been getting facefuls of last night.

“Morning. You’re kinda.. Wrapping your tail around my leg. And I need to get up to eat.”

Salazzle looked at me suspiciously, as if that didn’t check out.

“No, I don’t want a round 2. I’m still sore and stiff from last time.”

At that, my stomach growled. That must’ve confirmed the story for Salazzle, because she unwound her tail from me and got up off the bed to go across the room. She disappeared into the bathroom and I heard the tap run for a few seconds. It shut off, then Salazzle came back with a glass of water. She held it out to me and I clumsily grabbed it. Then my key card was in her hand as she was walking out of the room.

I was left agape. I blinked at the recently-shut door. I stared at it, as if the door could explain what just happened. I took a sip of my water. I looked down at my naked self, then the pile of clothes on the floor beside the bed. I stiffly got up out of bed and put all my clothes back on. Everything was sore. That didn’t make any sense, since I hadn’t moved at all. I sat back down on the bed after I got clothed and drank more water. It tasted dull, not anything like I thought water should taste like.

Salazzle came back with three Pinap Berries. She had to put them down on the doormat to unlock the door. After coming in, she closed the door with one of her hand-like feet. She carefully walked over, holding one Pinap in each hand and balancing the third on top. She carefully set one on the bed and held the other two out to me.

“Okay. You want me to… eat them?”

Salazzle shoved the Pinap berries at me again. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

I downed the rest of the water in my glass, set it down on the floor, and grabbed the fruit given to me. Then I just looked at her. Salazzle picked up the Berry on the bed, then bit right into it. Those things are both sour and spicy, and she bit into it like it was nothing. She looked up at me, then slowly pushed my left hand and the berry in it towards my mouth.

“Okay, fine.”

I bit into the berry, rind and all. It tasted… sorta sweet? Like both the sour and the spiciness were gone. It also felt like this was my first bite of food in weeks. Man, my reserves must’ve really been depleted. Regardless, I ate the first Pinap eagerly and began into the second almost immediately. Only halfway into berry number two did both sour and spicy begin to return, slowly at first but then more steadily. By the last bite, my tastebuds had come back to full strength and the berry finally tasted like I remembered.

“Augh… Yup, tastebuds are back.”

Salazzle picked my glass up off the floor and went back to the bathroom to get more. I took the opportunity to get up and stretch. I felt more limber already. Not wholly better, but definitely in the right direction. She came back with the water and I chugged it right there. After I downed the glass, Salazzle crooked her finger at me in a gentle “come hither” motion. I leaned down to about eye level with her.

Salazzle dug into those sweet lady-parts again, but not as much as last night. When we were going at it, she was full-on fingering herself to get at those pheromone messages. Right now she just slipped a finger in to about the first joint. She still waved her fingers under my nose the same way, though.

**_Last night was taxing. That should help you get back on your feet._ **

“Thanks. I was feeling… wrung out.”

Salazzle just stared at me blankly.

“...Because you actually did squeeze me dry. Right. Am I gonna feel any… adverse effects? Any others, I mean? Possibly fatherhood?”

Another light dig into the abyss for a message.

**_Apart from slightly discolored urine and the possibility of addiction to my… cocktails, that wakeup was it. Nothing to worry about, especially children. We’re not nearly close enough on the evolutionary tree for that._ **

“Addic… nothing to worry about? I’d be slightly worried about GETTING ADDICTED TO SOMETHING.”

Salazzle just petted the top of my head. Like I did to her. Because I was her master. The tables had flipping turned. She smiled at me like she knew the conclusion I had just reached. Hell, she could be listening in on me. I had no idea what those pheromones could do. Hell, I could be seeing an altered version of reality through some freaky pheromone drunk-goggles. No, she wouldn’t make it happen like that. Salazzle preferred to take targets out slowly. Poison them, stall, and deliver the finishing blow herself.

I felt like a certain salamander had used Toxic on my insides.

“Okay, but don’t you forget who has the Pokéball in this relationship.”

I thought I saw her blush at that. Or giggle. Salazzle covered the tip of her snout in her hands and looked away from me.

“Wait what’s so funny.”

Evidently, this was going to take a bit of explaining because she did another shallow dig for a phero-message.

**_When you passed out, your poor soldier didn’t make it much longer than you did. I still needed to get my rocks off, too. So I was forced to… improvise._ **

“Where is your Pokéball?”

_ Shlick Sniff _

**_I… Used my tail like a dildo. It wasn’t enough. So I put something in and shoved it with my tail._ **

“Wait what ‘something’?”

Salazzle just held a hand to her lower abdomen like an expecting mother.

“No. You didn’t. Oh god, you didn’t.”

Again, she buried her face in her hands. At this point I was sure that Salazzle was doing that gesture out of shame. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. God, this was gonna be a story for the ages. And I had stopped for the night here because we were a decent way from the rest of civilization.

“Okay. You’re hoofing it until the next Poké Center, Nurse Joy can help us out. And if that pokéball falls out on the way there you are personally licking it clean before you get your lizard ass back in there.”

Salazzle nodded and we went to pay off our room and breakfast. It was gonna be a long day…


End file.
